A man appeared before the pearly gates. Gabriel looked his name up in the big book, and said: “You’ve come to the wrong place. I don’t see any record of piety or good works on your part. You’re not qualified to enter here. You’ll have to go to the other place.”

The man replied: “But that‘s incorrect! I performed one act of charity! Once I actually gave $ 5.00 to a church. For this one act, you’ll have to let me into heaven, at least for a few seconds!”

Gabriel became a little confused and referred the matter to St. Peter. St. Peter resolved the issue by instructing Gabriel, “Give him his $ 5.00 back and tell him to go to hell!”