I heard about a rich man who was determined to take his wealth with him. He told his wife to get all his money together, put it in a sack, and then hang the sack from the rafters in the attic. He said, “When my spirit is caught up to heaven, I’ll grab the sack […]

The day before Thanksgiving an elderly man in Phoenix called his son in New York and said to him, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; 45 years of misery is enough. We’re sick of each other, and so you call your sister […]

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death’s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort […]

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone tocall the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. […]

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European […]

“A beggar in India found Rupees 100. He went to an expensive hotel and ate to his heart’s content. When the bill for Rupees 3000 came, he said that he had no money. The manager called the police and the policeman took him away. The beggar gave the Rupees 100 to the policeman and was […]

A brahmana and a Bombay taxi driver die the same time. A brahmana and a Bombay taxi driver die the same time. They go before Yamaraja & the brahmana is told he must take many more births before he’s liberated. The cab driver however can have liberation immediately. The brahmana is bewildered and protests. Yamaraja […]

What do you call a cow with a crown?A Dairy Queen What do you call a cow with a crown? A Dairy Queen What do you call milk from a forgetful cow?Milk of Amnesia What does the Invisible Man like to drink?Evaporated Milk What do you call a cow who just gave birth?Decalfinated Where do […]

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall.  They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this Father?” The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in […]

Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great […]

One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. He rubbed the lamp and out popped a genie. The genie asked, “What is your first wish?” “I would like to be rich!” replied the worker. And poof the man was surrounded by piles of money. […]

Stopping at the Krishna Temple on the way to the race track, a man made this prayer. “My Lord, I am going to bet on a horse named Vayu to come in first place. If he wins, by Your mercy, I shall gain 10,000 rupess. If you can do this one small favor to me, […]

A man appeared before the pearly gates. Gabriel looked his name up in the big book, and said: “You’ve come to the wrong place. I don’t see any record of piety or good works on your part. You’re not qualified to enter here. You’ll have to go to the other place.” The man replied: “But […]

On the freeway from Provo to Salt Lake City there is a billboard by a software company seeking to employ programmers. The text reads, “There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who read binary and those who don’t.”

An engineer, physicist and statistician went hunting one day.  The engineer spotted a deer and correctly calculated the distance. His shot kicked up dust three feet to the left.  The physicist, trying to calculate the wind factor, shot just three feet to the right of the deer. The statistician said, “We got him. We got […]

I include an offering for your humour page, fromby Lillian Mermin Feinsilver. A group of Jews were at early morning prayers in synagogue. The rabbi suddenly stands up and declaims, “Oh Lord… I am nothing!” and sits down again. A little while later, the synagogue’s cantor stands up and he says, “Oh Lord, I am nothing!” […]

Mr Patel walks into a bar in London, orders three pints of beer andsits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When hefinishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, “You know, a pint goes flat after ashort while […]

A young lady came home from a date looking rather sad. She told her mother, “Arthur proposed to me an hour ago.” “Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked. “Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell.” Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between […]

Khaleej Times Online >> News >> OPINIONA dangerous cross-connection to the White HouseBY S. RAGHUNATH 5 December 2005 RECENTLY, a telephone subscriber in the United States who dialled his laundry got connected instead to the top-secret telephone of President Bush. Here it goes: “Hello there, Snow White Laundromat? Look, this is utterly outrageous and I […]

If you don’t believe in reincarnation, don’t worry. You probably will in your next lifetime. Swami Beyondananda—-The Chinese may have Tai Chi, but Indians have Chai Tea!—-Q: Why do some Hindus ceremoniously walk on fire?A: To cleanse their soles.—I am one with my duality.—The answers are already within each of us. Good luck matching them […]