Indian Car Park

An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loanofficer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on businessfor two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of securityfor the loan, so the Indian […]

Spelling to get into Heaven

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.  She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling […]

Atheist & the Bear

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could […]

The Parking Spot

Moishe is driving in Jerusalem. He’s late for a meeting, he’s looking for a parking place, and can’t find one. In desperation, he turns towards heaven and says, “God, if you find me a parking place, I promise that I’ll eat only kosher, respect the sabbath, and observe all the Holy days.” Miraculously, a parking […]

Ravages of Time

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, “SURELY I CAN’T LOOK THAT OLD?” I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.  SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE […]

Mr. Ginsberg and Mr. Buckley

jswami on February 29, 2008 – 4:45am. Mr. William F. Buckley, Jr., the politically conservative founder of the magazine National Review, an opinionated intellectual whose views I have sometimes agreed with, sometimes disagreed with, and often not known or cared about but whose skill as a writer I have often admired, died on Wednesday at 82. […]

An English Major’s Humor

Last Friday I graduated with Honors from Santa Fe College with an Associate of Arts degree. The following was posted on my favorite professor’s office door. A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double […]

One Hundred Points for Heaven

A man dies and goes to heaven.  Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.  St. Peter says, ‘Here’s how it works.  Yo u need 100 points to make it into heaven.  You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, […]

A Swami Goes Golfing

A swami was feeling bored one Sunday and decided to take the day off away from the temple program. He told his servant he wasn’t feeling well and drove away. He stopped at a golf course about forty miles away where no one would know him and decided to play a round of golf. Up […]

Good Deed

A man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates ofHeaven and said, “Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you — we’velooked at your life, and your really didn’t do anything particularly good orbad. We’re not at all sure what to do with you. Can you […]